Overcome Your Shyness
It’s a fact! Shyness is only temporary. No matter how shy you are it doesn’t matter it’s still only a temporary condition.
The only thing stopping you is your belief in yourself that you are shy. Here’s a popular scenario among shy people. The shy person has a problem meeting a partner. They feel they just can’t talk to people and when it comes to talking to that potential partner they just seize up with a crippling fear.
Now do you think this person is capable of holding a conversation or is it there belief about themselves that is crippling them?
It’s there belief that they can’t do it and not their capabilities. To explore this further let’s use another more dramatic example. Could you kill the person you hold most dear to you in your life? A bit of a shocking question I know but could you?
No? Well that’s not entirely true because if you put a loaded gun to your loved ones head and pulled the trigger you would indeed kill them, you are capable of doing it but you don’t because of your belief in what you can and can’t do. You believe it to be inconceivable that you could ever do such a thing, the thought would never even cross your mind. It is your belief not your capabilities that stop you from doing it.
It is your belief that you are a shy person that makes you so, not your capabilities. You are capable of holding a conversation with that potential partner but your beliefs get in the way.
These beliefs need to be eradicated in order for you to move on. Beliefs are based on your perception of reality. However there is no reality only perceptions of it and perceptions can be changed.
To have a belief you need something to support it, for example. You believe that when you get out of bed in a morning your feet will touch the floor. What evidence do you have to support this?
Well firstly, Every morning of your entire life when you’ve got up and your feet have touched the floor, secondly if you look over the side of your mattress you can see the floor below you. These are very solid supports that make a very solid belief.
What if one night the flooring by the side of your bed collapsed into the floor below and you were so fast asleep you didn’t hear it, when your alarm goes off you sleepily swing your legs over the side of the bed and fall off in to the floor below.
Do you think that the next day when you get out of bed wherever your are staying you’ll be as certain that there’ll be a floor waiting for you when you get out of bed? - I doubt it.
This is an example of a change in your beliefs. Up until now most of your beliefs will have been shaped by other people and the circumstances of your life. Like the example with the bed, your belief that there’ll still be a floor in the morning was shattered by circumstances not your conscious efforts.
Do you want to live your life at the mercy of circumstance or do you want to choose your own beliefs and become the person you’ve always wanted to be?
Right now you believe you’re a shy person, this is an identity you’ve given yourself, a belief about yourself. Change your identity and you change your life.
Now it’s time to change your perceptions of who you are, to shatter the supports of your limiting belief about being shy.
Think about what troubles you about your shyness for a minute and write down what you were thinking.
Now think of a time when you didn’t act the way you normally act, a time when you felt confident.
You can’t!
Well, what if you could think of a time, what would it be, everybody has felt confident at one time or another. What was your time? Now think of another and another. Write them down
By now you’ve already began to doubt your shyness, you’ve had times when you were confident speaking to people so how can you be shy. The supports are starting to crumble even if it’s only a little bit.
Once the seeds of doubt are planted then with persistence it’s only a matter of time before the belief is totally destroyed.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR. Darren Hodgson has personally overcome his own crippling shyness, for more information on how he did it go to http://www.obliterateyourshyness.com
